


There's No End to This

by annetta23



Category: Actor RPF, Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Call Me By Your Name Fanfic, Developing Relationship, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-21 03:32:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annetta23/pseuds/annetta23
Summary: “I thought you wouldn’t come,” Armie whispered.Timmy forced a smile, didn’t expect the sudden lump balling up in his throat.





	1. Chapter 1

**Armie**

_If he’s not here again…_

Rain drops hitting the hotel window in the most distracting silence. It could be beautiful; it’s supposed to be. Rain was only beautiful under London’s sky, especially when you’re not a local. But Armie could only see the vague grey blanket beyond the window, and the clock on the nightstand that seemed to tick too fast.

Armie shook his head hard. He barely managed the last time he had to hit the stage only with Luca. Maybe only god noticed how he kept turning to his side, expecting a certain someone next to him. A certain energy, a certain smile and familiar warmth. Of course he looked just fine in all those pictures; he’s an actor.

Only actors could turn nerve into a standing ovation-worthy speech.

“Excuse me, Armie,”

The makeup artist hurriedly worked her brush over Armie’s face. Too soft and messy, maybe it didn’t even change a thing.

“Are we going?”

“Yes,” she stepped back, and the next second the room was filled with hair spray and its artificial powdery smell.  “All should be downstairs in five minutes. You excited?”

Armie forced a smile. Excited? Yeah…London was the last stop before the festival journey ended. When the movie premiered for half of the world to see in a couple weeks, life would be so different and Armie was not sure if he’s really looking forward to it.

“Have you guys heard from Timmy?” Armie shouted right before he ducked in to the car. The little entourage shrugged in unison, and Armie felt sick to his stomach.

**Timothee**

Rain drops fell from the sky, as if reminding Timmy he’d touched the English soil. He made it, surprisingly. There’s no way he’d just watch the festival season ended without physically being with his _Call Me By Your Name_ family.

Selena could wait for their shoots together, but Armie couldn’t. Could not and should not.

There’s no time to sit down for makeup, not even any wardrobe change. The driver took Timmy straight from the airport to the festival venue, and Timmy felt like screaming along with the fans; screaming from being tired, sad, and excited at the same time.

This was it; everything came down to this one night, the last premiere before everything was totally out of his hand. He, Armie and Luca couldn’t defend anything after tonight. The story would be people’s story and their to judge, love, despise, or keep in a special place in their heart that they would visit here and there, all their life.

Like Timmy knew he would.

“Hi, Hammer time.”

The fans started screaming higher, raised their phones higher to the sky. Armie, on the other hand, was slow with his reaction. He looked at Timmy funny, as if he’s not expecting the appearance at all. But then they hugged, and Timmy felt like he’s the only thing that mattered in the whole world to the older guy.

_He'd been expecting me._

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Armie whispered.

Timmy forced a smile, didn’t expect the sudden lump balling up in his throat. He’s so gonna miss trying to stretch his neck to look up at this tall guy. He'd miss looking forward to another intimate interview with this one. Facing the press together on the red carpet, that's just some generic routine, but felt so much more with this one.

Just with this one guy.

“Of course I would,” Timmy finally said. “Last stop. We need to say goodbye properly,”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Armie**

"Armie! Come on, another one,”

Luca and his accent. His firm yet friendly order, on and off the screen. Armie knew he’d miss the guy’s unique little traits and recalled some of their shared moments all the times when this whole journey ended. But the Italian charm didn’t work this time. Armie said no to the unopened cold beer; he just wanted to go cool his head.

“See you tomorrow, Luca.”

“You sure? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, all cool. Good night, folks,”

All eyes moved to Armie in pity, as if they cared more about a guy leaving than the music and delish booze in their hands. Whatever. Armie smiled and stumbled his way to the door, until someone yanked his elbow.

Timmy’s smile couldn’t hide that he’s genuinely concerned.

“Leaving so soon?”

_Then let’s stay together. Let’s keep it perfectly this way._

“Timmy! Yeah,” Armie gulped. “Guess I’m leaving now,”

“I’ll join you.”

 

And off they went, ditching the car and blended in with the locals under the light drizzles. Armie watched Timmy laughed to the stars, saying how stupid of them dismissing the drivers without asking for their coats. 

“Nah, it’s okay. They’ll bring it to our room later.”

“We really can run back real quick, you know,” Timmy offered, “You don’t want to?”

That seemed logical and sensible, but Armie refused. Then again maybe he should’ve had said yes, because it’d save him more time with Timmy. They would trade more talks, more smiles, and little shoulders brushing here and there. But the light rain could stop any minute, and Armie wouldn’t have a memory of late night walking under the romantic English rain with Timmy.

Armie surely chose a cheesy rainy memory over his coat.

The rain did stop later, insignificantly. They’re in too deep in their conversation to notice, even an earthquake wouldn’t set them apart. Timmy talked about his flight, the tight schedule back in the States and how he started to enjoy being abused by his schedule.

Armie found his young spirit refreshing; as always.

“Don’t stop,” Armie patted his mate’s shoulder. “Keep that fire, Tim. These years are going to be yours. Tiring, stressful, but when it slows down, you’re gonna crave for the same intensity.”

“Exactly,” Timmy stared far to the sky. “Exactly,”

Armie turned to his friend. There’s a cliffhanger to his tone.

“What is it?”

Timmy shrugged; his smile was vague as they climbed the narrow turn to the hotel. As if he’s keeping a painful truth that would hurt either of them. Or maybe it’s just something silly and irrelevant that suddenly hit his head. You knew when you knew someone for too long, you started to think alike and you knew how the other’s brain worked? Armie had not reached that level with Timmy, yet he’d love to.

_But how, stupid hopeful?_

“You don’t have to say it,” Armie mumbled, because Timmy still frowned, trying to find the words, or strategy on how to lay it out.

Few steps before the hotel entrance, and finally Timmy said,

“How do you feel about saying goodbye?”

 

**Timothee**

**A Year Ago**

_If you had never been an integral part of a movie production, you wouldn’t know what it felt like to be thoroughly satisfied, happy, and moved at the same time by a scene. The whole room would be invisibly shaken in an uncertain emotion, that just made you want to jump, cry, or call your family and wished them a blessed day._

_Covered in his giant white robe and sweat, Armie sat by the bed, relaxed and composed. Timmy wasn’t sure how he felt about the view. His stomach wasn’t calming down and it’s not about the sex scene they just did anymore. Timmy had passed feeling nervous about it._

_This, this uncertain, funny feeling all over his body was no longer Timmy the actor. It’s Timmy the boy. Timmy the human, because he’s back to be without control over his own heart and brain. The Elio Perlman had left his body, and Timmy felt unsafe being in this room as himself._

_“How do you feel, Armie?”_

_It just jumped out of his mouth, yet Timmy didn’t know if he’s talking about the scene or his actual feeling. Armie patted him on the back and said casually,_

_“Good. I think we did it. Don’t you think?”_

_And for months after that day, he and Armie got closer and closer, but Timmie’s heart was never really settle and certain. He’s feeling like encountering a déjà vu, something so familiar yet still with some distance._

_Few months later, Luca sent him a copy of the new “Call Me By Your Name” with the new cover. Timmy read it everyday, part by part; feeling all those scenes he’d been studying between his fingers; Elio’s life and all his kept secrets and thoughts. And one day, one evening, it hit Timmy, as he read the part where Elio started to do his music transcripts with different emotion and motivation. Someone had emerged to become a part of his life’s purpose, his reason to live and smile, and sometimes also to cry._

_He’d become Elio, and Armie had become Oliver. This could go anywhere but Timmie was wishful he wouldn’t have to end like Elio when he and Armie parted ways._

_\---_

Some moments in life always managed to make Timmy believed in god, more than ever. The sweet drizzles turned to a real, furious rain in a second, right when Timmy about to curse out of frustration. He only got like a second of Armie’s silent reaction, between stunned and confused, and what else Timmy had no idea.

They stood under the rain, mouth agape, too transfixed in each other’s eyes and emotion to notice a bellhop had been shouting at them in his thick accent, perhaps begging them to come in or they’d catch flu. The people watching from the bright lobby inside was just a blurry golden canopy in the background; they’re no one. They didn’t matter.

Timmy could stay here, right at this moment, just a little bit longer because he’s too much of a coward to know what could and would happen next; if he’s going to be lucky or broken after midnight. Maybe he’d received his coat the next morning, and used it to wipe his tears.

So when suddenly Armie grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, Timmy wished god was in his favor just for another night.  

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Armie**

_“We need to say goodbye properly,”_

_“How do you feel about saying goodbye?”_

Armie threw his innocent wet shirt to the basket, just a little bit too hard. He’s not mad, no. Frustrated? No, no. He’s just a logical man that hated vague vibes and uncertainty, which was why he’s so restless.

Timmy with all his goodbye-this-goodbye-that statement could mean anything; maybe he wanted all this to end soon. _Call Me By Your Name_ was too everywhere even before the movie premiered, Timmy might had lost his spark and intimacy with this project.

_Or with me?_

Armie peeked through the little gap of the bathroom door he left. Timmy sat on his bed, nearly naked under the sheet, toweling his now super long hair. Maybe it’s meant to be. The rain, Timmy’s key left inside his coat, the ticking time. God must had had put them inside this room together to made up their own path, once the morning approached.  

Tonight could be a goodbye, but it could also be a hello to a new revelation. Maybe he’s being logical, maybe he’s just being humanly hopeful, but Armie knew he just had to give his hope a shot.

He’s not in for a goodbye.

 

**Timothee**

If beauty could be intimidating, it’s Armie Hammer. Over six foot of god’s perfection walked into the room, and Timmy’s heart beat weaker and weaker with every step taken. As Armie sat next to him, oozing warmth and adorable virility, Timmy realized he’d fallen in love.

“I heard you, what you said outside.”

_This is it._

“How do I feel about goodbyes?” Armie said carefully. “I’m sure you meant us. What’s next? What is this feeling, this trick our minds been playing with us? Yeah?”

If tonight was going to end badly, at least nobody was denying the truth. Timmy nodded as response. He would take whatever written in the stars for him.

“I don’t wanna say goodbye. Fuck, Timmy, I wanna be with you. I can’t put it any other way,”

_Oh god…_

 

The world was lifted from his shoulders. Timmy felt like he’s about to explode, his chest felt full it hurt. But the lump had gone from his throat. He sat off the mattress, and Armie opened his arms, as if knowing Timmy would need a comforting hug more than anything, even more than a kiss.

“Speak, Timmy,” Armie said to Timmy’s temple, his breath harsh with emotion. “Say something.”

Timmy chuckled; Armie was just as scared if not more. He looked up and met Armie’s eyes. They're bright yet full with questions, nervous but brave. Timmy shared every single one of those traits; they’re in this together. Together.

What failed between Elio and Oliver, they would make it happen.

 

“I was…About to let things go without trying.”

“That’s human,” Armie reached out and ran his finger over Timmy’s pout. “And you’ve been tired.”

“Thank you.”

Timmy kissed Armie’s fingerprint, shivered by the new found intimacy. He really could get used to the soft and rough that was Armie’s skin. Timmy was a guy; he recognized that look on Armie’s eyes. And this time, he’s going to take the initiative.

Their first kiss was nothing less than perfect. Armie was patient, but Timmy couldn’t help pushing his tongue just a little bit. He’s in love and in lust. He wanted Armie; all of him. His love, his body, his bluntness, his charm. Everything.

“Someone is feeling frisky,” Armie teased as he pulled away. His thin lips now wet and swollen, just like another certain part of his body, raging under Timmy’s belly. Motivated, Timmy moved lower and lower under the sheet, loving the way his boyfriend following him with squinting eyes.

This was going to be a hell of a ride.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I'm doing this fan fic justice, because CMBYN touched my heart when I first read it ten years ago.
> 
> Enjoy :)


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